Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Till I Find Somebody New

They say it takes 21 days to break a habit. According to Dr. Maxwell Maltz it has to do with brain activities.
"Brain circuits take engrams (memory traces), and produce neuroconnections and neuropathways only if they are bombarded for 21 days in a row. This means that our brain does not accept ‘new’ data for a change of habit unless it is repeated each day for 21 days (without missing a day)."
Of course, if there is a replacement habit to take the old one's place, then the "breaking the habit" task is much easier!

I was in the process of my 21 days. I was determined to break the habit of wanting/needing to speak with my soon-to-be-ex-husband. I was actually doing so well. And then he called. Of course when I saw the number on the screen I froze for a sec, realizing I am recognizing those digits. In thinking he is finally missing me, I answered the phone, only to find out all he needed was for us to tie up some loose ends regarding our final separation.
Darn it. Not just that he didn't miss me, but now I am back to the beginning in my efforts to break the habit.  

After that call, I needed a little fresh air break, and I strolled over to my local coffee joint, to sit in the sun & read the paper. They had the radio playing, when I heard this song. I know this song very well and am very fond of it, but today, at that moment, it was like it was meant for me and for where I am currently at. 

"I can't take my mind off of you.......... Till I find somebody new"


koralee said...

ahhh...first thank you for leaving a comment on my blog!...second.... You will find someone else and when you do it will be magic..it is something both of you have to feel! Hang in there....I know you can...you are strong and in control! Wishing you a day filled with "Me" time...do something special just for you! You deserve it! xoxoxoxo

ChallenCharms said...

Thank you for sharing. It can't be easy at the moment but take one day at a time and be confident in yourself.

Olive Rue said...

Tali hang in there. I know it's hard. But I think God must have another plan in mind for you. And thanks for stopping by yesterday.

Ooty said...

Sweetie I hope you better by now!

andrea said...

i loooove that song!
and *hug* i think you're doing great in your situation. at least you sound like you are. if i ever had to go through this situation, i'd hope i'd be as strong as you, trying to look on the bright side. i admire your courage :)

Dionne said...

Oh Tali, I can't imagine the pains of divorce, I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. Hang in there and stay strong.

Dawn said...

Oh Tali... You know, my Mother used to recite a saying to me in times like these...

"This too shall pass." And she'd follow with her own words... "Bounce Back."

Truth be told, I didn't appreciate it at all when she said that in the moment cuz sometimes I just wanted to feel all my feelings - and her words felt like a little push (a gentle one) to keep moving forward - sometimes a little sooner than I was ready to.

But she was right - the situation or circumstance always did 'pass' and I managed to always 'bounce back' when I was ready. And you will too, Tali - when you're ready. And you'll know when you are. Feel your feelings and keep faith; peace of mind and a mended heart will come for you, when you're ready♥

Take care of you,


Catherine said...

You're a beautiful young woman. Keep going and don't give up. You're in my prayers that God will bless you! xx

~ Kelly Ann ♥ said...

I love Damian voice!!!
Have a lovely day! Love your blog btw~

~ Kelly~

TheEye said...

I recommend listening to Damien's "Rootless Tree" the next time you feel this way .... it's very useful lol...